I shouldn't have left you...

Not sure if anyone actually reads this blog-lol but I cannot expect my writers to blog when I am not doing so. It's been an awful minute, but hopefully with classes starting and these hour breaks I have between classes - I can get back into the grove of things.

Most of me lately has been trying to focus on getting myself good with God. I've missed a lot of church because of work and I'm not liking it at all. Family situations have me in a fit of writing so hopefully some wonderful stories will come out of this mess. I've come to realize that as crazy as my tangents are, I must be destined to be a writer. I even had a revelation of my style of writing. I want to comfort those who think their problems are miniscule to others, I want to be the shoulder for those who feel like no one will understand their situations and even if they do, they won't accept them. I want to be motivation to those who realize that emotional abuse is almost just as bad as the physical. We are victims of the horrible crimes that are lacing our television screens everyday (not taking anything away from those victims) but everyone that is struggling is not struggling in that aspect. We need to be mindful of everyone's story, not just those that are on display for the world, but those spiritual battles, the classic man vs. self. I want to help them because I personally know how it feels to be in an emotional battle with no understanding around you whatsoever. To those who are going through this, I know how you feel. God has taken me through these emotional situations to be of some comfort to you. If you can't open up to anyone, I hope that my stories open up to you.

Tears

I hate that they fall so much
My swollen, red eyes leak my emotions in a way that I can't control
I try and try to coax myself into keeping them in, but to no avail; they fall even more
No one around understands them, I even don't at times
I'm not like them – I'm told to be hard and get over it, it's not that bad they say
So why must I be the one to shed them so
Free falling from my eyes as I beg them to stop
They show weakness that is often criticized
Shouldn't I be able to cry without feeling guilty?
Aren't they meant to cleanse my mind as some often say?
I began to differ, these wet signs of emotion only confuse me more
I want to know why-
Why they fall so easily and why they won't stop
Why I can't control them and why it matters so much to others that I can't
The more I resist, the more they come
So I'll just let them fall…as they wish